


(Don't) Leave Me Alone

by Potterwatch97



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst without a happy ending, Delusions, Depression, Hallucinations, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Ship tag may be a stretch, Steve/Tony angst if you squint, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Wow this is dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:46:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9355880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potterwatch97/pseuds/Potterwatch97
Summary: “Oh, bambino.”Tony let out a breath that could’ve been a sigh but was more of a sob, too afraid to look over, too afraid of what he’d see.“Oh, amore mio, what has this life done to you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> WOw okay first off I'm sorry for this
> 
> Second of all this is based off of [this post](http://superhusbands4ever.tumblr.com/post/155883350789/super-dark-concept-after-civil-war-tony-is) that I made on tumblr a couple days ago that I've been torturing people with so maybe check that out.
> 
> Third of all, if you haven't heard the song Tiptoe Thru' the Tulips by Tiny Tim I'd suggest listening to that first. Or don't, because that song is creepy as fuck.
> 
> Fourth, once again, I am so sorry.

It was 3 AM by the time Tony finally had the sense to leave the workshop to escape the scathing words of Steve and his father. It took him awhile to notice the pattern but, aside from Steve, every person his mind could think to conjure up to torture him seemed to be assigned to one or two rooms in the compound. His father tended to stay confined to his workshop, so whenever he was finished with his work there he hightailed out as quickly as possible.

_God, I thought you were supposed to be a genius or something, Anthony. You can’t even figure out how to help Rhodes. You always were a waste._

_Jeez, Tony, Rhodey gave up everything to help you and this is how you repay the favor? Pathetic._

Tony heaved out a sign as he collapsed on his bed, not bothering to take any of his grease-stained clothes off or clean up. The last time he had tried to sleep, Obadiah had surprisingly left him alone, so he was able to catch at least a couple hours between nightmares. That was a few days ago and he’d been hesitant to try to sleep again, but now he was just so exhausted and his bed was so tempting, he was willing to take his chances tonight.

_You looked stressed, son. Here, have a drink. You know you want to. You know it’ll help. Maybe it’ll numb the pain for awhile._

_You might as well, Tony. We both know it’s only a matter of time before you fall off the wagon again._

Tony clenched his eyes shut against the memories of Steve’s and his father’s voices, burying his head into the pillows to try and drown them out. He was so tired, he could feel himself drifting off, just a few more minutes…

He jerked with a gasp as music, high and painfully cheerful, started blaring through his room, an even higher pitched voice coming in to sing along. He tried to bury his head beneath his pillow to smother out the noise to no avail.

_‘Tiptoe through the window_  
By the window, that is where I’ll be  
Come tiptoe through the tulips with me‘  


_“_ Rise and shine, my boy,” Obadiah’s voice broke through the noise, hands clapping loudly next to Tony’s ears. “Time to go to work! Weapons to build, people to kill, you know the drill.”

_‘Oh, Tiptoe from the garden_  
By the garden of the willow tree  
And tiptoe through the tulips with me’

Tony clenched his hands in his hair as he sat up, fighting back the tears of frustration that gathered in his eyes as he watched Obadiah casually sit on his dresser, humming along to the song still blasting through the room.

_‘Knee deep in flowers we’ll stray_  
We’ll keep the showers away  
And if I kiss you in the garden, in the moonlight  
Will you pardon me?  
And tiptoe through the tulips with me’

_“_ Come on, Tony,” Obe said, hopping up and walking over to sit by Tony on the bed. “We have to get some new guns out there to our boys overseas, right? You don’t want to leave them defenseless, do you? Imagine if your father had been as selfish as you.”

Tony tried to cover his ears, tried to drown out the noise of everything going on around him but it was all too much and he couldn’t think, he couldn’t _breathe_ -

He tried not to flinch away as he felt Obadiah lean closer, tried to ignore the breath on his ear and the stench of his expensive scotch-

“You’ve killed enough people as it is, Tony. Don’t you think?”

And just like that, all the voices were coming back. He could hear Howard and Steve screaming at him, could see Rhodey falling-

_You can never do anything right! God, you should never have been born, should’ve gotten rid of you when I had the chance-_

_You disgust me, Stark. I tried to like you, Tony, I really did, but you made it very hard._

_Disgrace to the Stark name is what you are, worthless piece of shit-_

_All those people you killed with Ultron Tony, and for what? Your ego? You weren’t trying to protect the world, you were trying to make yourself feel better, and at what cost? Charles? Pietro? It should’ve been you, Stark._

Obadiah singing along to that stupid song-

_‘Maybe it’s flowers you stray will be the showers of life_  
And when I kiss you in the garden in the moonlight  
Will you pardon me and tiptoe through the tulips with me’

Yinsen and Pietro standing, watching, with dead eyes and gaunt faces-

_It should’ve been you, Stark._

Tony couldn’t think, there was so much happening, his head hurt and his chest ached and he couldn’t- he couldn’t-

_Don’t waste your life, Stark._

_It should’ve been you, Stark._

“I can’t-” he gasped, pushing his head down into his lap, clutching his hair, trying to ignore it all. “Please, I can’t… stop, please…”

_Did you know?_

_…yes._

Rhodey, falling and falling, his mom, screaming, choking, _crying-_

_The futurist is here, gentlemen! He sees all. He knows what’s best for you, whether you like it or not._

_Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one god damn second?_

_I’m sorry, Tony. You know I wouldn’t be doing this if I had any other choice. But he’s my friend._

_So was I._

And it was all too much, he just need quiet, he was so tired he just want to sleep, he wanted it all to-

“Leave me alone!” Tony cried, raising his head to the ceiling. “Leave me _alone! Please, just STOP!”  
_

Everything died at once. The noises were gone, the voices, that stupid song, Obadiah was no longer beside him, Yinsen and Pietro were gone, he just wanted it to stop, he wanted to not hurt anymore, he wanted to _sleep-_

“Oh, bambino.”

Tony let out a breath that could’ve been a sigh but was more of a sob, too afraid to look over, too afraid of what he’d see.

“Oh, amore mio, what has this life done to you.”

Tony finally looked over, stared at his mother through tear-stained eyes. Her hair was pulled back in a bun just like when he last saw her, customary red lips turned down in a frown.

“I’m tired, mama,” Tony said, voice cracking with exhaustion. God, he just wanted to sleep, he just wanted to escape, just for a little while.

“I know, Anotnio, I know,” she reached out, her eyes so sad, and rested her palm on Tony’s cheek. He sobbed again, turning his head into her palm, raising his hand to rest on hers. He had missed this for so long, missed her touch, the way she smelled, missed hearing her sing to him when he couldn’t sleep.

“I’m so sorry, mama,” he sobbed.

“No, bambino,” she whispered. “Close your eyes, mio figilo. Close your eyes, get some sleep.”

Against his will, Tony felt his eyes closing, his body falling back against the bed, finally relaxing under the touch of his mother.

“I’m so proud of you, Antonio. So proud.”

More tears spilled from his eyes as he felt himself relaxing into sleep.

“Mama, I-”

“Shhhh. It’s ok, Tonio. Sleep.”

He fell asleep to the sound of his mother’s voice, her warmth a comforting presence next to his on the bed.

And when he woke from a nightmare a couple hours later, he was alone.


End file.
